Investments Every Mom Should Make

I complain about back pains and headaches as often as I talk about Julia's toddler antics to my friends.  Fact is, I am getting old and Julia is growing up fast.  This means I have to take care of my health and I must spend my time on what really matters.  I know this (I wrote about this a lot of times) but it was only when Julia turned 3 that I began to understand:  Life is too short.  It is not about "having" time.  It is about MAKING/FINDING time to create memories with Don and Julia. 

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I wrote about my commitment to be present 100% for my family but sometimes often times, I find it very difficult to manage.  In short, hirap ako!  Things to do at work seems endless. Don and I manage to keep our weekends for the family but when our to-do list for the following week is too long, we go to a coffee shop to work for a few hours.  We invented this so-called "work date" thinking we are doing ourselves a favor by dating while working.  We tell people it's "work date" so we won't feel too guilty about working on a weekend when we should be spending time doing anything but work.  

As if work is not enough to keep us busy, we unconsciously let technology suck up the time we have left for ourselves and the family.  We multi-task like crazy people.  I read and respond to my emails while I am inside the car having a conversation with Don and Julia on our way home, on our way to the mall or wherever.  I check and respond to my social media accounts while watching Disney Junior Channel, painting or coloring with Julia.  Don is busy with his virtual battlefield and I am busy tending my virtual farm while we are eating dinner AND having a conversation.  We read the news and current events online before going to bed and having a conversation in between.  

Building Healthier Relationships: SoMoms #BetterMe Session with CoachPia

Last week my officemate asked me what is it like to be married for almost 10 years.  For someone who is vocal and opinionated, I do not know how to answer the question.  I just smiled, then laughed nervously. Then I stared at my hand... No wedding ring.

I have not worn my wedding ring for more than 3 years now.  I returned it to Don.  It was one of those "nightmares" in marriage that a woman wish she will never experience.  It took us several conversations with people we love, guidance from a pastor, renewal of faith and 4 bottles of red wine to finally decide that we will move on and work harder to strengthen our marriage.

Building Healthier Relationships: A SoMoms #BetterMe Session with Coach Pia

Last month, I attended my first #BetterMe session with Coach Pia and the SoMoms.  I attended a program by Coach Pia before so I was really excited to learn from her again.  Our topic was Building Healthier Relationships.

I am an HR practitioner so I think I know a thing or two about relationships.  The discipline teaches me to be objective, mature and kind.  Everyday I make intentional decisions to strengthen my relationship with Don.  We made certain choices to make sure we are able to communicate and spend meaningful time together.  Though I love the career, I have chosen, working full-time is not easy.  I am a mom now and Julia is my priority.

Coach Pia opened our #BetterMe session by asking us:  Who are you outside your roles in life?

Shucks. Who am I outside my roles in life?  I always introduce myself as an HR practitioner, a wife and a mom. I seriously do not know the answer to Coach Pia's question.  She must have sensed our discomfort because she asked us to write four people/things/events that are important to us.  I was overwhelmed with my thoughts but I was able to narrow down my list to four.  These are my personal values. Coach Pia said that these values define who I am.  These values will help me create better and healthier relationships with others.  These values will affect my life decisions.

According to Coach Pia, a healthy relationship is nurturing and promotes open communication.  Often times, negativity hinders us from having that healthy relationship with others, especially the people we love.  Yes, negativity.  Here are some helpful notes I wrote about negativity:

1. Positivity vs Negativity - Knowing what I want in life and knowing the gap between where I am and where I want to be will increase positivity in my life.  More of positivity will lessen negativity!
2. Negativity is a Contagious Energy - I agree!  Knowing my experiences of negativity will help me be aware of where negativity begins in my life and which negativity I am responsible for.  By doing this, I will stop negativity instead of spread it.
3. In the face of Negativity, be the one to change. - Sigh.  Coach Pia said "Let go, forgive, change and be humble."  Double sigh.

Of all the lessons I learned from this session, I think #3 is the most challenging.  I mean, why me?!  Hahaha!  Whenever I need to deal with difficult people (aka Negatrons), Don would always remind me "to take the high road."  Be the more mature individual.  Coach Pia is right, being aware of our personal values helps us put things in the right perspective.  The insights and sharing we had during the session was very enriching.  I love love love being with SoMoms and just talk about how we feel and share our experiences, fears and aspirations.

Tomorrow (or should I say, later - 12:35am na pala!), we have another #BetterMe session with Coach Pia.  We will continue our topic on building healthier relationships.  I really learn a lot from Coach Pia.  As a SoMom, I am very honored to be a Premium Member of OneCore.  Coach Pia, together with Pia Magalona are the inspiring women behind OneCore.  It is an organization that supports people in making better life decisions. I encourage you to be a member too.  Free learning sessions and workshops, discounts, free online content delivered to your email are a few of the privileges as a member.  True to their purpose and passion they offer free learning sessions every 2nd Tuesday of the month at The TopShelf, Fully Booked, Bonifacio Global City.  Who does that, right?!  Coach Pia said that this more than just a business.  OneCore is all about their passion and advocacy to help Filipinos have better lives.

Oh before I say good night, thank you to Unilab for sponsoring our #BetterMe sessions with Coach Pia.

Thank you also to Mr. Charlie Esguerra and his wife Dina for the super delicious pritchon and paella!  The couple is so inspiring.  Imagine, they thought of their business while in traffic.  Sana next time na matraffc kami ni Don, we can think of our business na rin :)  Like Charlie's Pritchon on Facebook and order pritchon on your next family gathering or event.

After our session with Coach Pia, I was inspired to be more intentional about building healthier relationships, especially with my family.  I realized that I have A LOT to learn about relationships!  I look forward to our next session.  I will tell you all about it, promise.